open reduction internal fixation (2021)
for guitar and percussion
Premiered by Hypercube ensemble, 2021, as a part of Hypercube's CubeLab Composition Lab
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program note:
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This piece is based on my experience of breaking my ankle, which required surgical repair. This was my first experience with a major medical procedure, and therefore I experienced many new and challenging emotional spaces.
The piece begins with a crack – the breaking of bone, the catalyst of pain. Anxiety builds as foreign terms are thrown about, the diagnosis of a posterior malleolus fracture, the need for ‘surgical stabilization’ due to ‘exquisite tenderness’ and a ‘concern for syndesmotic instability.’ The surgery to be performed is an ‘open reduction, internal fixation’ – an incision is made, and the broken bone is reattached with a plate and ‘interfragmentary lag screws.’
Surgery begins. Anaesthesia is induced via intravenous injection. Anaesthesia involves numbness, paralysis, unconsciousness, and amnesia – thus an amorphous, ethereal and strange atmosphere exists. More foreign terms are introduced, but they are obscured, nonlinear, blurred, and confusing. Everything comes in and out of focus, in and out of reality and clarity. A swirling, nonsensical, spacious, dreamlike existence.
Awakening from surgery means the realization of limited mobility for the foreseeable future. Suddenly thrown into complete and total reliance upon others to perform basic tasks, intense pain, stiffness, and lingering numbness create a sense of claustrophobia, frustration, and grief. There is a loss of independence and strength, a new reality of pain and weakness, and emptiness.
Pain is a recurring flashback, both in memory and in reality. But the lilting stiffness and pain gradually recede, slowly, surely, gaining strength.
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Contact Erika for score inquiries.
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