tentative breath, a moment (2020)

commissioned work for Spring of That ensemble (violin, guitar, tabla)

Recorded by Sprig of That, 2020, on the album Eight Threads

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program note:

During a frustrating period, my effort to write meaningful music felt futile; sketches and ideas had no clear direction or purpose. Through the process, I began to understand that this wandering lostness was representative of my own uncertainty about my place in the world. My headspace swelled with an internal conflict between anxiety -- fear, darkness, feeling lost, disconnected -- and the calm beauty of the emptiness of winter -- hushed and still, unknown but not rushed or frantic. Caught up in the overwhelming waves of this anxiety, I found myself turning to the comfort of the silent, frozen landscape: the faint, warm glow of an obscured sunset refracting through crystalline trees; a tentative breath; a hesitant step outward; the hushed crunch of fresh snow. In all its wandering disconnect, this piece became representative of my acceptance of myself as I was. The piece focuses on leaving the darkness of anxiety, the obsession with purpose and direction, and chooses instead to focus on moments of lightness. It highlights the desire to find quiet, calm, and peace within the internal turmoil, and embraces the uncertainty with open arms -- a first step towards self-love.

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Contact Erika for score inquiries. 

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